I am writing to you because many of you have asked where have you been? How come we don't talk any more. I haven't seen you at coupon classes lately. I know I owe you all an answer and the honest answer is? I'm struggling! You all already know that my husband has AS. My son also has Psoriasis and has been made fun of at school which is never fun to see your kid hurting. We took him to a dermatologist that sent us home with 6 medications to test for 6 weeks. We finally found a medicine that works. YEAH right? More bad news. The medicine that works is supposed to be for people over the age of 18 and apparently our insurance may not cover it and it could cost $600. We are still waiting on the outcome for this.
Meanwhile my daughter has been showing signs of possible having my husbands disease. She is having pains in her ankles,knees,legs,lower back, shoulder and the worst is her hips. She says it's like a sharp knife jabbing into her hips. We took her to our family doctor after we kept getting texts from school that she needed to be picked up. They ran several blood tests that came back inconclusive and they are trying to get her in to see a Pediatric Rheumatologist. They sent paper work over on the 11th and we still don't have an appointment made. I call every day and the lady that makes the appointments is out with the flu. So here we are on day 2 in a row of her calling us crying and having us pick her up from school. Advil doesn't work and I am sitting here waiting for the other Dr to get back from lunch to see if they can at least prescribe her something.I am also having some of my own health issues which may be due to stress.I have headaches every day now, sometimes I have stomach cramps. Today I felt dizzy just sitting at my computer.
Right now I am just feeling completely overwhelmed. Trying to keep this family together and work a full time job has been very stressful for me. I want to make sure I am on top of things at work, do my best, not let my family situations get in the way. I don't want to be a disappointment I want my family and friends to truly understand why I never go do anything with them, that the only time I have , I spend with my husband and my kids. It's because we have so many negative days that I want to make sure that we have positive memories together. Some people just don't realize how important family time is for me. No one will truly understand what you are going through until they actually live it day to day. I am sure many of you out there are probably going though the same thing. Negativity in my life is like poison, one little negative comment seeps in and turns my world upside down. So I try to shut myself off and stay away from it.
My husband is my best friend and I pretty much tell him everything but I haven't been talking to him as much lately because I know how difficult it is for him because he feels like this is all his fault somehow. I thought maybe writing this post would help but it hasn't.
You all know I am a Christian and that God has gotten us through many things and I while I know he will get me through this, it doesn't mean I won't experience pain in my life. So if you don't seem me popping up as much, it doesn't mean I'm being anti social it just means I need some me time or that my family needs me. I just ask that you will pray for me that I can handle each situation as it comes. I never thought I spend Valentines day crying on my couch.