I’m Worn – That’s How I am Feeling Today

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Stressed

I am writing to you because many of you have asked where have you been? How come we don't talk any more. I haven't seen you at coupon classes lately. I know I owe you all an answer and the honest answer is? I'm struggling! You all already know that my husband has AS. My son also has Psoriasis and has been made fun of at school which is never fun to see your kid hurting. We took him to a dermatologist that sent us home with 6 medications to test for 6 weeks. We finally found a medicine that works. YEAH right? More bad news. The medicine that works is supposed to be for people over the age of 18 and apparently our insurance may not cover it and it could cost $600. We are still waiting on the outcome for this.

Meanwhile my daughter has been showing signs of possible having my husbands disease. She is having pains in her ankles,knees,legs,lower back, shoulder and the worst is her hips. She says it's like a sharp knife jabbing into her hips. We took her to our family doctor after we kept getting texts from school that she needed to be picked up. They ran several blood tests that came back inconclusive and they are trying to get her in to see a Pediatric Rheumatologist. They sent paper work over on the 11th and we still don't have an appointment made. I call every day and the lady that makes the appointments is out with the flu. So here we are on day 2 in a row of her calling us crying and having us pick her up from school. Advil doesn't work and I am sitting here waiting for the other Dr to get back from lunch to see if they can at least prescribe her something.I am also having some of my own health issues which may be due to stress.I have headaches every day now, sometimes I have stomach cramps. Today I felt dizzy just sitting at my computer.

Right now I am just feeling completely overwhelmed. Trying to keep this family together and work a full time job has been very stressful for me. I want to make sure I am on top of things at work, do my best, not let my family situations get in the way.  I don't want to be a disappointment  I want my family and friends to truly understand why I never go do anything with them, that the only time I have , I spend with my husband and my kids. It's because we have so many negative days that I want to make sure that we have positive memories together. Some people just don't realize how important family time is for me. No one will truly understand what you are going through until they actually live it day to day. I am sure many of you out there are probably going though the same thing. Negativity in my life is like poison, one little negative comment seeps in and turns my world upside down. So I try to shut myself off and stay away from it.

My husband is my best friend and I pretty much tell him everything but I haven't been talking to him as much lately because I know how difficult it is for him because he feels like this is all his fault somehow. I thought maybe writing this post would help but it hasn't.

You all know I am a Christian and that God has gotten us through many things and I while I know he will get me through this, it doesn't mean I won't experience pain in my life. So if you don't seem me popping up as much, it doesn't mean I'm being anti social it just means I need some me time or that my family needs me. I just ask that you will pray for me that I can handle each situation as it comes. I never thought I spend Valentines day crying on my couch.

I'm worn…………………..

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50 Comments

  1. I wish I could just hug you up. I’m prayin for you down here in Georgia. Please let us know if there is anything we can do from afar to help with any of the expense. Know you’re in our constant thoughts and prayers.

  2. Oh Melissa! My heart breaks for you! I can so relate to a lot of what you are going through. If you ever need to talk or cry or scream I’m only a phone call away. I know we aren’t super close but I’m always here if you need anything! I will keep you in my prayers hun!! (((HUGS))

  3. Oh, Melissa… I am so sorry. I have been following along on FB and I must admit, you are handling it well on the outside. I am sure several of us have been where you are. I know I have. It is so very hard. Lean on Him. I have found no greater source of strength or comfort in my times of need. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I hope answers and solutions come quickly. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ~ Matthew 11:28

  4. I’m so sorry, you and your family will be in my prayers. Praying for answers, healing, and brighter days for you all.

  5. We all know that family comes first and will always be here for you. I will definitely keep your family in my prayers and hope for positive outcomes during this trying time. It always feels like everything is crashing down on us when one thing falls, but know that He has something in store for us that is a much better outcome in the end. Many prayers for you and your family! 🙂

  6. Just remember to take care of yourself. you have to take a breather, even for 5 minutes. Crying is not a bad thing, relieves pressure. Step outside,play a fav song and take a deep breath, empty your mind for the length of the song. You will be surprised how well that works. All you can do is the best you can do and God will not put you through something you can’t handle. Let some things go, no use killing yourself for things undone.
    Have you tried naprosyn (aleve)? maybe a combo of tylenol and motrin given at 4 hour intervals will work til the doctor responds.

    Keeping a journal helps get the emotions out without hurting anyone’s feelings. Write them down then burn them so only you know what your feeling. May sound funny , but it helps with ongoing life situations you can really do nothing about.

  7. One step at a time is all that is required…not that any of those steps are easy when you are worn.
    Know tho, that most of us have been where you are, and there is always light..sometimes hard to see and feel, but it is always there.
    Give yourself every break you can! You are expected to be on top of everything for your family…let everything else be. Give yourself permission to not be everything to everybody!
    Sending <3

  8. Hey, check out this site. It might have the answers to your entire family’s health and emotional issues. https://gmoinside.org/take-action/

    You may find this leads you down many other paths of discovering how our food supply is causing illness. I would definitely not blindly push pills down your throats before researching.
    I hope this helps you. I know how you feel. I feel the same way you do and I’m just sad about so many things. I think food is the place to start though. Happy Valentine’s day 🙂

  9. Just looking at your picture is bringing tears to my eyes, and then I read this. I am truly sorry that you are experiencing all of this. I am sending healing vibes, prayers, and big hugs.

  10. I hope the pain gets better for your whole family, especially you because you’re the pillar holding everything up and that can be too stressful which can and will take a toll on your health. My husband and I both have experienced it many times during our relationship and it always gets better.

  11. Praying for you and your family. 🙁 Hope everything turns out for the best.. We shall not let satin win.. God bless you

  12. Hey Girl! Some days it’s better to pull off thoses big girl panties, burn ’em, throw ’em to the wind, throw your hands to the air and give it to the Lord. (Foot prints in the sand), you are not alone…………<3<3

  13. Melissa,
    First of all, I want to echo your own words back to you. In God’s word He tells us that because we are Christians who live in a sinful world, we will suffer. But we have a HOPE that others do not have!
    I love the following verse: Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
    It reminds me that once I get to heaven, the glory that is revealed to us there in the person of Jesus Christ, if we even think about our absolutely worst day on this earth, the 2 don’t even compare. Isn’t that awesome! So when I get down about my circumstances, or my pain, or what my kids or family members are going through. I try to remember this verse.
    Another one of my favorites is :
    2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
    At this time Paul was talking about some of his suffering. His says that God tells him that His grace is sufficient. And that the weaker Paul is the more God’s grace can be manifested in our lives. So I have begun to look at suffering differently, as a way for God to be gracious to me.
    Melissa,
    There are things about my life you don’t know. I will be in OKC next week. I’d love to get together if you have time. Send me a fb message.
    Love and Prayers,
    Angie

  14. I don’t know exactly what you are going through but I “get” it. I get the feeling of helplessness when one, then two, and three family members are struggling. You stress. You worry. You fret. And through it all you “I can’t get sick. I can’t take a rest. I just can’t.” But give yourself a break…you are doing the best you can. True friends will stick by as you go through this tough time. Fair weather friends will drop by the wayside but you don’t need this sort of friend anyway.

  15. I hope things get better for you. I will keep you in my prayers and I know you have heard it before but thinking on the postive side really works I’ve been down that road. I really like your website. Best wishes.

  16. Cyber hug coming you way………Sorry you’re having so many problems in your life. I wish I could blink and make it all better for you. I sending prayers up for you and your family. As hard as it is, please try to keep a positive attitude. Sometimes positive vibes creates positive feedback:0)

  17. I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. Please know that we are all praying for you and your family. Please believe that there are positive things coming out of this path you are on, your faith will carry you through. Love from our family to yours and take all the time you need to heal, we will be right here for you- love from ar

  18. Don’t stop talking to all of those people who love and care about you. Talk, talk, talk – to anyone who will listen. It will not bring instant relief (just like writing this post did not), but it is brave, strong, and the right thing to do. You will get through this….you always do. It is hard when it piles up, but that is the cycle of life. It is the hard times, that make us appreciate the simple things in life like our health, love, and friendship. I am thinking of you and your beautiful family.

  19. we are all normal people with many problems,beacuse no money,no work,no love,sick etc
    evrery one of us van have less same or.more sadness.
    but good is always there,you will see .close your eyes and ask to god,he will help you.
    life is not easy.
    i hope your hearth feel better.

  20. Do you have family that can help you out? Will keep you in our prayers..but is there ANYTHING else we can do to help? Hopefully the meds will work for your son and can be covered by insurance. Keep us posted. I am sorry that you have so many trials all at once.

  21. Melissa,
    I too have had to burden enourmous family, emotional, financial & health struggles. Three things helped me:
    1). I started taking baby steps, not focusing on getting thru days or weeks at a time but moment by moment.

    2). Journaling, but not about the hard stuff, the things I was grateful for, then when I would become over whelmed reading the good stuff would be uplifting.

    3). My faith, heavenly father doesn’t give us more to deal with than he knows we can handle. Sometimes, I think it is the special wonderful people that get all the hard stuff. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Things will get better, & these struggles will make the good times in the future that more sweeter.

  22. Melissa,
    We do not know each other, but i want you to know that I will be praying for you and your family! like many of the other women on here..we are praying for yall.
    And i also want you to know how much good you ARE doing, your blog has helped my family immensely! we have saved soo much money.. thanks to you- and i know all of the others on here will say the same! We owe you! 🙂 Ive even been able to share this amazing..addicting couponing you got me into with others! 😉 others who cant afford groceries who can now- and couponing has given me something to bless others with.. food.. ect! You.. are blessing others.. more than you know. -isn’t that what this life is all about? doing for others? 🙂
    and you must be a strong woman, or God wouldnt be putting these trials in your life! God does not give us anything we cannot handle, lean on Him, tell Him everything.. and Trust- be like Job…
    I know these things are easier said than done, but lean on our Lord, that might just be what He is waiting for. 🙂 xoxo

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