Have you had THE TALK with your parents?

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As many of our parents are getting older now is the time to have the talk with them. I understand that this talk will be uncomfortable, but trust me it will save a TON of money in the long run. You may not know that I work in a law firm that specializes in family law (Divorce, child custody, Wills, Trusts, Probates, etc). These items I am going to list for discussion are simple things that can keep an estate out of Probate if someone passes away, if an estate goes into Probate it is several hundred dollars just to file the matter and then more money to a lawyer. (Please remember though I am NOT a lawyer!)

Do your parents own any property?
If they own a house or land then I suggest putting it in Joint Tenancy. The forms are easily found online and it only costs $13 (in Oklahoma) to file it. If a house is not in Joint Tenancy then you would need to file a Probate action to be able to do anything with the house. Trust me spend the $13 now.

Do your parents have a vehicle? If they do then I suggest having your name put onto the Title. It can be Mommy Name OR Your Name on the Title. If your parent passes you are then able to sell the car without going through a Probate procedure.

Do your parents have any stocks, bonds, bank accounts, pensions, annuities, etc? If so have them put your name down as POD (payable on Death).

Do your parents have life insurance? If your parents have life insurance have them review who the beneficiaries are and update all the contact information.

Do your parents have a Durable Power of Attorney? If not then I suggest they get one. You can write a Durable Power of Attorney to only go into effect if a Doctor writes a statement that you have become incompetent or are otherwise unable to take care of things on your own.

These are some, but not all, very simple tips that can help prevent you from having to file a Probate in the future. Also, make sure you know where the paperwork is for everything. If does no good for your parents to have life insurance or a Last Will and Testament or Stocks and Bonds if you have no idea where they are. I am writing this since a few months ago we wrapped up a case for a Client where 5 years after a family member died he found a bank account large enough to worry about probating the estate. Since it was so old he had additional fees, he could have saved himself thousands of dollars by talking with his family member ahead of time.

Like I said it is not a happy talk to have with your parents but it is a necessary one! Again, I am sorry if anyone found this to be morbid but to me it is a realistic thing to do and could save tons of money in the future.

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7 Comments

  1. I’m currently in law school in OK. I’m so glad to read this. I read everyday what happens when people die intestate and the damage it does to families. It seems so foreign to me to not have a will. However, most of my husband’s family has never had a will or done any type of estate planning. Thank you so much for spreading awareness.

  2. Do NOT wait! I lost both parents exactly 1 yr apart, my mom suddenly, my dad suffered with illness making preperations difficult. The aftermath is devastating to all survivors.
    If I learned anything, it was to have a plan and funeral arrangments prepared no matter what age. Never want to put my surviving familly suddenly through it. Emotions run too high and mistakes are made that can’t be reversed.

  3. Exactely, I am a legal Secretary so I see this a bit more often than most people. We also encourage people after they get a Divorce to consider revising their Wills and Power of Attorney to reflect this new status and possibly changing beneficiaries. ~Princess Karen

  4. That’s no doubt. Probate is costly, takes time and big headache as well.
    There is so much beyond material items that need attention, like debts owed.
    When our mom passed, our dad was in fair health, figured he would be around for a few more years. He had spoke with us about preparing for death, but none of us had a clue his death would come so fast due to untreatable virus’s. Its been 5 months since he passed, and we are still trying to straighten out his debts which has inturn left us with much larger debts at this point. They don’t just magically disappear, and financers want their money no matter who’s pocket it comes from!

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