From the very beginning of our world Satan has been using human beings as tools against each other. He used Eve to seduce Adam into eating the forbidden fruit therefore causing them to be banished from the Garden of Eden and introducing sin into the world. Funny how one small decision can make such a big impact on the world. Ever since then, humans have become funny little creatures. We have evolved into a culture where ME comes first. We are so consumed on how everything affects us instead of looking at how what we do affects those around us.

Through our own selfishness Satan can destroy our marriages and our relationships with each other. He uses doubt, defeat, deception, delay, discouragement and diversion. He also uses fear and selfishness. Satan loves to use physical people in this world to do his bidding. Satan has used me so many times as his tool, I didn’t realize it, till the deed was already done. I was so consumed by my selfishness and how I felt, that I couldn’t let go, I needed to get my point across. I had been wronged and I needed that person to know it!

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This week I shared the video above on my personal timeline that I think is so good and I think you all should watch it. Many people are going through sorrow, defeat, loneliness, pain, discontent, struggles, addiction, grief, financial problems, the list goes on and on. I am talking about strangers we meet every day, our friends, our family, YOU and ME! We have to be mindful of our actions and what we say to one another. I wouldn’t want to be the cause (part of Satan’s tool) that causes that person to make a decision that they might regret for the rest of their life or be the person that set’s that person on a spiral of depression, hurt and pain.

YOU might think to yourself, but I was right in the situation or how can something I say make such a big impact? I am going to share with you two stories today that are personal to me. One where my selfishness overcame me and one where I was on the other end of being hurt.

Sometimes we encounter people we don’t agree with, we automatically clash with that person so bad that it hinders our path that God is trying to lead us on. Many years ago a man joined our church, I can tell you right from the start we were not going to get along, I did not agree with his views, I did not agree with his rules and I thought he was one of those people who took his authority as a gift from God. He was brash, not sympathetic and was certainly causing issues for me and my family. I was so consumed by my own feelings that I stopped using my talents for God which was singing and being a part of the music ministry.

I wasn’t letting my husband be the spiritual head of the household, and I was struggling with my faith. I can tell you that I was literally consumed with hate for this man. Satan used him as a tool against me and my family and it was working. It was some time had gone by though that I realized that satan was also using ME as his tool. You see God places everyone in his church for a reason, they have a purpose, we aren’t just there to fill empty pews. I realized that my decisions of selfishness were affecting our music ministry in a big way. God placed me in that church for a reason and I was letting him down. You see when a key on a piano is out of tune, the song just doesn’t sound as smooth, you could continue playing the song but every time you hit that sour note it will be a reminder that the song isn’t complete, it’s not right.

I finally had to sit down and take my feelings, my hate and give them all to God. I seriously told God, I can’t take it anymore, I know this is where you want me, so change him or CHANGE ME. I honestly don’t know to this day who God changed and I don’t even care because I am going to tell you that I now have a very special relationship with that man that I once hated, one whom I can confide in, one who can give me Godly advice and will pray with me and for me. Satan was no longer going to use either of us as a tool in this situation. It all worked out but I had to let go of my selfishness and I realized it’s not always about me and there are others that I need to think of.

I know this post is getting really long but I felt as though I needed to write this, if not for someone else but for myself as a reminder. The 2nd situation I wanted to mention because it’s more common and could happen to any of us. Last night my family and I went to watch a movie about dads, I have no idea why but during the middle of this movie I felt myself getting really depressed. Was there some kind of emotional issue that I was hiding deep down in side that I refused to let out? Who knows, I couldn’t tell you. Could be it be memories of my abusive step dad or maybe my real dad who never cared enough to be a part of my life? I don’t think so, but maybe my heart and my mind are on two different courses.

After the movie, I got in the car, I didn’t say anything to my family. I jumped on Facebook and there it was……… not only were two fans going off because I wouldn’t allow them to post their own links in my Facebook group and were being the typical trolls that many of us bloggers experience on a weekly basis. I felt the need to try to defend myself and then I thought to myself why am I having to explain in GREAT DETAIL why I don’t allow something in MY OWN group (because I already gave them the short version and they weren’t letting it alone) and why am I letting these comments from someone who doesn’t understand what I go through every day to keep my site running eat at me.

But it doesn’t stop there, I recieved a PM 2 seconds after that from a Facebook friend who was spewing her frustration about something that not necessarily was towards me but something she was frustrated with that I also started to take personally because you see I was already in that state of depressed feelings and my mind started to make something out of nothing. When we got home I was already on the verge of tears and I sat in the bed and started opening up bills and looking at all the medical bills we had etc. and I literally broke down. I put my ear plugs in, rolled over in bed and silently cried myself to sleep as I prayed for God to take all this hurt, pain and anger from  my heart. The point of that story? Satan used these peoples comments each time to push me further and further into my emotional state. It was like a thorn that just kept being pushed deeper and deeper.

I woke up this morning feeling a little better and felt like through my prayers last night God wanted me to write about this, even now as I write about it, I can still feel some of those feelings and it makes me sad. Why? Because I know it’s going to happen again, because sin is in the world and we as human beings  feel the need to be heard, we feel the need to state our opinions wether right or wrong and we are so consumed about being right that we don’t stop to think about how our words or decisions will affect others. It will affect our families, our friends our relationship with God as well as the ministry God has set before us.  Luckily Matthew 11:28-30 says “Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” I know that I can go to God and if I am diligent with my prayers he will hear me, he may not answer if the time frame that I think is sufficient but he will answer in his own time and he always comes through.

If you are struggling with being hurt by someone consider giving it to God, don’t be Satan’s tool, don’t take it into your own hands, remember your actions affect something bigger.

To those whom just feel the need to be negative because you took something personal, or you felt wronged, or you feel the need to be heard or state your opinions to be right. Stop and consider the big picture, are you being USED by Satan, is Satan sitting back and laughing at you and saying dance puppet dance, spread the disease of hate and selfishness. Because one single word posted online or said to someone else can start a war, which is contagious and can affect the way how others treat people for the rest of the day. It’s like a seed of hate that grows inside and blows in the wind carrying those seeds to other individuals who were having a day full of blessedness to a day of sadness, hurt and anger.

Oh God…. I pray that you would would help me with my thoughts, my emotions and my words. Don’t let me used as a tool for Satan. Don’t let my words be the cause of someone else pain. My flesh is weak and I cannot do this without you.

Philippians 4:19 – But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6 – Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

1 John 4:20 – If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

Thanks Carrie for letting me, one more time, use those pictures we took a long time ago together, I know they aren’t the most flattering but I think God is going to use it today!